“Habits are the invisible architecture of daily life.”
I first stumbled onto Gretchen Rubin’s work several years ago when I happened upon a copy of her hugely popular The Happiness Project.
Since then, I’ve become an avid listener of Happier, the helpful and funny podcast she co-hosts with her sister.
And I just keep reading her books. She is startlingly clever, and devotes a great deal of her abundant energy to researching happiness, habits, and human nature; and thankfully, much more of that energy to sharing what she learns with the rest of us!
So basically, if you’re human, and want to choose your habits rather than letting them choose your life for you, this book is for you. I really enjoyed learning about what makes us tick, and how to tap into that awareness in order to struggle less and succeed more .
“How do we change? –by using habits…. If we change our habits, we change our life.”
As knowledge is power, the first part of the book helps us learn see ourselves through the lens of our instinctive response to expectations (both inner and outer)…
- Upholders respond readily to both inner and outer expectations.
- Questioners question all expectations, and respond only to those they can internally justify.
- Obligers respond readily to outer expectations while struggling to meet their own inner expectations! (me)
- Rebels resist all expectations, both their own, and those of others.
p.s. In case this fascinates you as it does me, there is whole other book about these four tendencies. (The Four Tendencies)
From there, we proceed to a series of thought-provoking questions to help us further understand our individual natures… (the ‘Distinctions’)
- a lark or an owl?
- a marathoner, a sprinter, or a procrastinator?
- an underbuyer or an overbuyer?
- a simplicity lover or an abundance lover?
- a finisher or an opener?
- a familiarity lover or a novelty lover?
- promotion-focused or prevention-focused?
- and, do I like to take small steps or big steps?
The answers I came up with reveal facets of my personality I wasn’t even aware existed. ‘Things I never knew I never knew.”
And then, the main course!
The author (I am convinced she is actually a genius. Maybe if I write in to her blog and ask, she will tell me her I.Q. score…?) has identified:
Strategies for habit change!
Here they are:
- First Steps
- Clean Slate
- Lightning Bolt
- Other People
(She often refers to the 21 strategies of habit change, but I have presented the first two- Tendencies & Distinctions- separately above under the Self-Knowledge heading.)
What I really appreciate about this book (apart from its user-friendly presentation of research that matters) is the individualized approach. Once I figured out my own answers to the questions at the top (which was fun to do) I could recognize which strategies would work best with my personality.
The idea is to reduce friction!
And it works. I sleep more now!
Why make things harder than they have to be?
What habits have you successfully changed, and how?
Thank you for reading with me,